


To Feel Again

by hibiren



Series: Jay's FFXV Halloween Week 2019 Fics [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Angst, Blood Drinking, Emotional, Emotions, Feels, Gladnis, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Mild Blood, Sad with a Happy Ending, Vampires, vampire!gladio
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 04:04:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21191270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hibiren/pseuds/hibiren
Summary: [FFXV Halloween Week: Day Two | Vampire!Gladio AU] Gladiolus confesses something to Ignis after a restless night for both of them.





	To Feel Again

**Author's Note:**

> Vampires! Something I never thought I'd write but have been having lots of fun with. Have some sad, sweet vampire Gladio and Ignis feels~
> 
> Written while listening to: [Amber Run's "I Found"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szJQ0d7WOZ8)
> 
> **Featuring [FFXV Halloween Week](https://twitter.com/FFXVhalloweenwk)'s Prompts**:  
**Monster of the Day**: Vampires  
**Theme**: Blood

It was another one of those nights when Ignis couldn’t sleep. He had an early morning at work the next day so he’d forced himself to retire early. Gladiolus had wandered around the apartment for a while - Ignis could hear the sound of footsteps then a pause, a hushed huff, and then a few more steps before stopping again. This went on for what Ignis guessed was thirty minutes before he’d finally had enough; the pacing was surely keeping him awake. He needed silence, or white noise, something not trying to grab his brain’s attention. Instead, the noise, his thoughts, the stress from the day - everything was quickly becoming too much for him to handle.

With a huff of his own, Ignis turned on his bedside lamp, stood, and went over to open his bedroom door. He nearly jumped when he caught sight of Gladiolus standing right on the other side, hand outstretched and cupped as if he were about to reach for the doorknob himself.

“Goodness! Gladiolus…” Ignis frowned, making an effort not to look disturbed. “You frightened me.”

“Oh, uh… sorry, Iggy.”

“Restless night for both of us, it seems.”

Gladiolus just offered a shrug in response and gently pushed past Ignis to enter the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh. A moment later, Ignis found himself sitting next to the vampire and resting a hand on his leg. The skin was like ice beneath the pants he wore. He thought to ask if Gladiolus was cold, but decided against it. He was always cold, was he not? Unless it was after feeding… then, the vampire had this temptingly human warmth to him.

“Are you… hungry? Is that why you’re pacing?” Ignis asked, hoping to break the silence.

Another shrug. “I… yeah, kinda. It’s just… about what you said the other day. I don’t want to treat you badly or drink too much by accident and it hurts you, and… well, more importantly, I don’t want you to hate me. For once, I’m scared of myself. I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in a long time and I don’t know how to handle it.”

“Hate you?” Ignis felt that himself, a lot of complicated emotions regarding this vampire that’d taken to living in his apartment, but he wasn’t so sure if ‘hate’ was on that list. _Why is he scared of himself?_

“Do you hate me?” asked Gladiolus, frown apparent as he spoke. “I can leave, if you do… you’d never see me again if you wanted. All I’d ask is that you let me drink from you one last time. For… for the road, I guess.”

“I don’t hate you, no - but… I don’t want to be evicted if it’s known that it’s not just me living here. Living in an apartment like this can complicate things. Someone might get the wrong idea.” After an uncomfortable sigh, Ignis added, “If you can find another living arrangement, you’re… welcome to return whenever you’re hungry. I don’t mind having you around. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, and - ” he’d been about to say _be intimate with_ but, was that their relationship? What _was_ their relationship?

As if in agreement, Gladiolus stood and put one broad hand against Ignis’ bare chest, gently pushing him forward until his back hit the bed. His eyes gleamed, strangely reflective in the soft light from the bedside lamp.

“One last time,” he said. Ignis nodded, swallowed hard, and found his fingertips touching his neck where he knew Gladiolus’ teeth would be. Gladiolus moved Ignis’ hand down to his shoulder instead and offered a sad smile. “You have work tomorrow, remember?”

“...Yes, that’s right.”

And then Gladiolus leaned down over him, lips brushing over the soft skin at his shoulder. One arm wrapped around Ignis in a helpless sort of embrace, pulling his cold body closer to Ignis. His other hand worked its way behind Ignis’ neck, helping angle his head into what he hoped was a more comfortable position before finally biting down on the warm flesh that waited exposed beneath him. Ignis’ eyes shut tight at the initial pain, a few tears threatening to spill over, but Ignis willed himself to breathe deeply. He had to relax, or it would hurt more.

“I’m sorry, Ignis,” Gladiolus breathed against Ignis’ neck, giving his waist a soft squeeze as he began to drink. Ignis let out a gasp but forced himself to time his breathing, to stay calm. Why was Gladiolus still being so gentle with him? Why had he agreed to let Gladiolus feed on him in the first place? Was he really so lonely that he was willing to keep a vampire around as his sole companion just because he didn’t find Ignis boring? Gladiolus needed him, it seemed. And guilt welled up slowly in Ignis’ heart - as if filling the void left by Gladiolus’ feeding - until he thought he’d burst. Gladiolus needed him and Ignis needed the company, he’d take what he could get. But the guilt was finally getting to him. The vampire sensed this too, and paused to ask,

“Are you okay?”

Ignis began to shudder.

“I don’t know.”

“Did you want me to stop?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Gladiolus raised his head and Ignis tried not to make a face when he realized blood - _his blood_ \- trailed in a faint trickle from the corners of the vampire’s mouth. _Don’t look at me like that,_ Ignis wanted to say, but couldn’t speak. Warm wetness slowly spilled free from the bitemarks at his shoulder and pooled against the sheets beneath him, but Ignis just didn’t care in the moment. He didn’t really know what exactly it was that he was feeling.

“Did you want me to keep going?” asked Gladiolus instead, swiping his hand against his mouth to try to clean himself off when he realized that Ignis was staring at the blood.

Ignis frowned and closed his eyes. Is that what he wanted? He did want his life to return to normal and yet, he knew after meeting Gladiolus it never would. There was no changing that. Ignis opened his eyes and finally answered,

“...Yes. Continue… please.”

There was no hesitation in Gladiolus’ movements as he returned to Ignis’ neck, tonguing up as much of the stray blood as he could. As for the sheets, they would certainly need to be washed. Another time. Ignis just laid beneath the vampire as he drank, staring blankly at the ceiling. It no longer hurt, in fact that pleasant numbness he was slowly becoming used to had finally set in. After a long minute, his tense body relaxed. There was still a lingering discomfort in Ignis’ mind, but he fought his best to push it aside in the hope that when Gladiolus was finished, he could rest and wake up after a sufficient sleep for work, for once.

He lost track of time as Gladiolus continued feeding, and only when he came to the realization that there were blankets - new, fresh ones - tucked around him, did he realize that he’d fallen asleep. Traces of moonlight filtered into the room despite the closed curtains. His alarm for work hadn’t even gone off yet, he’d woken up early. Yet the weight of Gladiolus pressed down upon him against his chest like a ghost in the empty room. Had Gladiolus left him after he’d fallen asleep? Was he gone forever?

No matter. Ignis knew he had to get up for work.

Although physically speaking he felt incredibly well-rested, his brain was in a strange fog. He was groggy, somewhat bitter, perhaps, but he just had this unsettling feeling that slowly sank down from his head, down his spine and through his chest, settling heavy in his gut like a bag of rocks. A shower didn’t help, and neither did putting on the freshly-cleaned work clothes he’d set out on his dryer the night before.

The apartment was empty, once again.

Ignis hated to admit it, but Gladiolus really did make his time spent at his home more bearable. In his… odd way of helping. He touched the place on his shoulder where Gladiolus’ lips had been and a wave of sadness pulled at his chest. Why did it feel like he wanted to cry?

Through that he fought to pull his shoes on, grab his work bag and head out the door. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Gladiolus sitting on the stairs down the way with his back to the apartments.

“I thought you’d left,” Ignis said simply as he passed Gladiolus on the stairs. He paused and turned when he reached the bottom to gauge the vampire’s response. _Left me,_ was what he’d almost said, but bit it back.

“No, I… I tried. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t do it. It’s like I said, I’m scared,” Gladiolus admitted under his breath, and hid his face in his hands. Ignis ascended the stairs until he was head-level with the vampire and offered what he hoped was a consolatory touch on his knee.

“You’re a vampire,” Ignis sighed, “What do you have to be scared of other than garlic and wooden stakes? I’m supposed to be the one scared of you.”

Gladiolus scoffed at the bad attempt at humor and pulled his hands away from his face, but refused to meet Ignis’ eyes. “Feeling.”

“...feeling, what?”

“Just… feeling. Everything.”

“I don’t understand,” Ignis muttered, and when he slowly removed his hand from Gladiolus’ knee he was surprised when Gladiolus snatched hold of his hand and held it to his chest. Where that same eerie lack of heartbeat left his chest cold and unmoving. He was starting to understand.

“I… I’m not supposed to _feel_ anything, Ignis. I’m _dead._ I’m only like this because of a stupid curse and I’ll be stuck this way for the rest of eternity. Do you know what it’s like, not being able to feel anything? Living your life like you’re just a… thing. A soulless _something_ taking up space. All I can do is feed, now. I can’t go out and do all the things I used to. I need to drink blood and if I don’t, I go completely crazy ‘til I do. But the worst part about it is it’s the only way I can _feel_ anything anymore. Your anxieties, your happiness, your pain and pleasure - in a way, I feed on that too. I crave it. To be able to remember what it’s like to feel emotions organically. When I drink, it’s like, just for a moment, I can remember what it's like to be human again.”

“That’s…” Ignis began, but wasn’t sure where he was going with his thought. “That must be awful. I hadn’t known.”

“And… when I’d found you, after so long without feeding, it… was really nice. Your apartment… the air is comforting there. When I drink from you, I can feel _warmth,_ and… maybe even _happiness_ too. You’ve noticed it, haven’t you? How I’m not cold after. That… that’s really pretty new for me. I’m not used to staying with the person I feed on. To talk to them, to feel as they do. But - anyway - I don’t want to keep you from work. You should get going.”

Ignis offered a sad smile and held up his car keys, unclipping the key to his apartment and holding it out to Gladiolus. “I’ve changed my mind. I want you to stay. Please, before the sun comes up; I wouldn’t want you to get hurt or be seen.”

“It’s gonna rain today, I’ll be fine.” Gladiolus offered a hesitant smile, just a slight one, before taking the offered key and leaning down just enough after standing to kiss Ignis on the lips. “I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.”

“Yes, I’ll… see you when I return.”

Ignis walked away to his car and when he pulled out of the parking space, he saw Gladiolus waving at him in the dim light from the apartment’s nearby lamppost. He wondered if the vampire could see him waving back, or see the almost-smile on his lips, the fingers that touched where Gladiolus’ mouth had been, as he drove off. In regards to his rent - what no one knew wouldn’t hurt them. Even someone like Ignis had a right to break rules every now and then, when exceptions were necessary. And Gladiolus certainly was an extraordinarily necessary exception.

**Author's Note:**

> it's a bit late but I'm glad I was able to get this out with two hours left on day 2! I'm gonna try to keep up as much as I can :3


End file.
